4 Pitfalls to Avoid when Getting to Know your Neighbors
In
the previous posts in this series (see link list below) we have
discussed methods for getting acquainted with our neighbors, building
relationships with them, and having group events that will help all of
us to get to know each other better. In order to avoid some of the
common problems that can occur during this process, let’s look at some
pitfalls to avoid.1. Being Too Helpful
We have learned that deciding ahead of time how much time, energy, money or emotional strength we can devote to neighbors allows us to be in a better position to help the most people. We have discovered that we can not meet everyone’s needs. Not setting limits can cause us to grow weary in well doing and cause us to want to stop helping others.We attempt to first help those who are least able to meet their own needs, and then help others as we are able. We try to use our resources to help many people, rather than use large amounts of time, money and energy to help one person or family. Some individuals and families have more needs than we are able to meet.
2. Not Keeping Confidences
Are you the kind of person in whom others confide? I am. I have a friend in whom no one confides. What is the difference? What you tell me goes no further. On the other hand, the fastest way to spread news is to tell my friend.3. The Neighborhood Grinch
Is there someone in your neighborhood whom no one likes? Several of our neighbors have told us they will not attend group functions at our home if X is coming. How do we handle that? We do not invite that person to small functions, but we do invite him/her to large functions, such as our upcoming block/neighborhood party.4. Being Self- Centered
When we meet someone do we use it as an opportunity to tell them all about ourselves, or as an opportunity to learn about them? Do we see it as our chance to tell our stories, or listen to theirs? Do we invite people to our home to show them our tastefully decorated home and souvenirs from our many travels or to get to know them better? Do we want to know people better so we will know what they can do for us (or will buy from us), or so we can get to know them and make a new friend? After they have told us about themselves and told us their stories, most people want to hear about us.Avoiding these pitfalls will help us build long-term, loving relationships with our neighbors.
This
"Getting to Know Our Neighbors" series is by Sam Riviera, a frequent
blog contributor. This series provides concrete, practical suggestions
for loving others like Jesus.
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