A New Measurement of ‘Success’

Lindy Lowry —  November 14, 2013

Clarifying ‘Missional’ Part 2

by Jen Hatmaker

My husband Brandon and I recently adopted two older children from Ethiopia. They came to us at ages 5 and 7. Being the responsible, prepared adoptive parent, I’d read a zillion books and blogs and articles and anticipated every potential pitfall in the first few months. Among other exciting possibilities like pitching fits for hours and attachment disorders, the experts assured us that any time apart from our adopted kids in the first year would likely send them into regressive trauma. If I didn’t adequately prepare them for the separation, our family would essentially self-destruct.
This would be tricky for a mom who traveled for a living.
I stayed home for the first few months, but eventually the time came to work again. Preparing my kids for my absence for one night (Brandon says sometimes I overreact), I made a slideshow of me teaching at conferences, put pins and yarn on a map to show them where I was, and bought them watches with my arrival time programmed in with alarms set as the finish line approached. I basically constructed a business presentation so my children wouldn’t regress and I wouldn’t ruin our entire family.
After my 12-minute presentation peppered with reassuring language and reflective listening, my 5-year-old Remy said:
“So you’ll be gone one sleep? Okay. Bye, Mommy.”
And that was that.
Sometimes all the talking outpaces real life.

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