EAGLES NEST MINISTRIES: Juni 2015

Minggu, 28 Juni 2015

Five Factors Changing Women’s Relationship with Churches

June 25, 2015—It will come as no surprise to most that the U.S. population has been consistently loosening its ties with church over the past few decades. In the early 1990s, only 30% of adults were unchurched, and that number steadily increased over the next decade, rising to 33% in 2003. The decade in our immediate hindsight shows an even larger increase—today, 45% of adults are unchurched in the U.S. and that trend shows no indication of slowing.
However, what may come as a surprise is the increasing number of women who are part of this cultural shift away from churchgoing (and from the Christian faith). Historically, men have been less likely to regularly attend church than women. Just over a decade ago, the gender gap was three men for every two unchurched women. (In other words, fully 60% of unchurched people were men.). Today, only 54% of the unchurched are men. In other words, the gender gap has narrowed from 20 points to just 8 points in the last ten years.

Here is the landscape of women and their churchgoing. While, just over half of all adult women have gone to church in the past week or past month (36% and 10%, respectively), nearly four in 10 have not been to church in the past six months: 38%. This last group represents the majority of unchurched women—they are the dechurched.

The majority (85%) of unchurched women are de-churched. Fewer than one in 10 American women (7%) have never been to church at all. Meaning it’s not that most of these unchurched women are unfamiliar with or inexperienced in church, but rather, that at one point they decided church was no longer for them.
Below are five trends Barna Groups sees as contributing factors to this shift away from church among women.
1. COMPETING PRIORITIES
The factors influencing these women’s decisions to reduce (or stop) churchgoing behavior are varied and unique to every person, but for many, it may simply be a question of desire and prioritization. When asked “how important is it for you, personally, to attend a local church?” only one-third of women said that local church attendance is very important to them. At the other end of the scale, just over a quarter of these women (27%) say that attending a local church is not at all important to them, and similarly, 24% say it’s not too important.

If more than half of women say attending church is not particularly important to them, where are they placing their priorities? When asked to rank several priorities in their life, women far and away ranked family relationships as their top priority (68%). Church or religious activities did come in second—but a very distant second (11%) and only marginally inched out personal time/development (10%).
Interestingly, the top priority least selected by women is work or career (5%), but it is also the second most common top time commitment for women (31%). Although women may not feel comfortable identifying their job as their top priority, their actual time commitment reflects a high value for that part of their lives. Family relationships are the top time commitment for 44% of women.

3. BUSYNESS
In the end, many women today are just busy. Really, really busy. And they are experiencing a tension between things they might want to do and things they actually have time for. In research conducted for the Barna FRAME Wonder Women by Kate Harris, 72% of women feel stressed out, 58% are tired and 48% say they are overcommitted. The percentages are even higher among moms with kids at home. Nearly nine in ten women (88%) say they want to improve in at least one area of life—and what is the area they cite the most, over work, family and friends? Church.
More specifically, although only 5% of women selected church or religious activities as their top time commitment, this is the area of life that most women want to improve in (22%), indicating that many women find their desires for church or religious engagement to be at odds with the constraints of their everyday realities. This finding adds an interesting dimension to the growing number of unchurched women—there is still a desire among many women to be spiritually active in a church community, but there are barriers preventing that desire from becoming behavior. The simple fact of the matter is: many women—and especially moms—feel like they just don’t have time for church in today’s busy, fast-paced life.

Find out more about trends among the unchurched in Barna’s project Churchless

3. LACK OF EMOTIONAL ENGAGEMENT AND SUPPORT
Another factor potentially contributing to women’s disengagement from church communities is that they report finding little or no emotional support there. Fewer than half of women indicated receiving any emotional support from people at their church or synagogue. Only 17% of women said they feel “very” supported at church and fewer than a quarter (23%) said they feel “somewhat supported. Nearly half of women (43%) said they do not feel any emotional support at all from church. This relational disconnect may provide a key for understanding how women are able to disengage from churches—without strong relational bonds within a church community, women’s absence from church can largely go unnoticed. This begs the question of where women are finding such support—and indicates a large opportunity for those churches who are seeking to engage women in their community.

4. CHANGING FAMILY STRUCTURES
Many churches are built around the traditional nuclear family structure: husband, wife, children. However, young women are increasingly less likely to fit into this mold. The average age of first marriage has risen dramatically over the last decades. Most women do not get married until they are in their mid-to-late twenties now. And, while young women still want to get married at some point in their life, they have a lot of personal things they want to do first: including developing more fully as a person and becoming financially stable. Such delays in marriage and parenting have significant effects on churches that prioritize family ministry and have little to offer in terms of connecting faith and work.

5. CHANGES IN BELIEF
The majority of unchurched women still say they are Christians—62% self-identify as Christian, even though they haven’t attended a church service in at least six months. However—particularly among younger Christians—the number of those who have not only left the church, but also left the faith, is growing. Just 46% of unchurched Millennial women self-identify as Christian. The number of women who identify as atheist or agnostic has risen from 8% in 2000 to 11 percent today, among Millennial women that number is even higher: more than two in 10 now identify as atheists (22%), up from 18% in 2005.

WHAT THE RESEARCH MEANS
In a recent article for Today’s Christian Woman, Barna Group vice president, Roxanne Stone, unpacks these faith trends among women and shares some of the implications for churches, “Aside from delaying marriage and children, young adults are eschewing other forms of ‘settling down’ as well,” she writes. “They are more prone to regularly switching jobs (and, with that, often where they live). In other words, there are very few institutions—either social or economic—binding Millennials. In a recent Barna Group study on identity, Millennials were significantly less likely than other generations to claim any of the surveyed factors (family, faith, country, city, state, ethnicity, career) as central to their identity. This generational sense of disenfranchisement has not helped draw young adults in general to a church—let alone young women, among whom such societal untetheredness is unprecedented.
“These massive changes—the delaying of family, an increase in institutional skepticism, and the separation of individuals from traditional social structures—are sufficient to affect church attendance,” Stone continues. “Unfortunately, they also correspond with the great cultural lament of our time: everyone is really, really busy.
“Many women—particularly those still identifying as Christian—may want to believe that they can hold to their faith even as they find less and less time in their life for church. However, Barna’s research over the years has shown that people who are disconnected from church—even those who self-identify as Christian—are less likely to engage in other faith activities: including Bible reading, prayer, volunteering and charitable giving. While correlation never equals causation, these are important indicators to pay attention to,” concludes Stone. “Whether we want to admit it or not, church attendance roots believers in regular faith rhythms and increases many other related faith practices.“
Comment on this research and follow our work:
Twitter: @davidkinnaman | @roxyleestone | @barnagroup
Facebook: Barna Group

Modesty, Yoga Pants and 5 Myths You Need to Know

By Phylicia Masonheimer

Yes, it's the responsibility of men not to lust—but how does modesty relate to women?

(This post is written to Christian women and is based on a biblical worldview, supported with Scripture. Since the writing of this post, a sequel has been written, The Motive to Modesty.)
Hurriedly I raked through my second dresser drawer in the dim light of the unlit closet, scrambling for pants of some kind. Finding some, I grabbed a workout shirt, jammed feet into tennis shoes and breathlessly answered the door for Mr. M.
“Ready for breakfast?” he asked.
We cooked breakfast together and headed downtown to go for a walk by the James, where a paved path was perfect for running. By the time we got there, however, our plans changed to the farmer’s market (our Saturday favorite), Estate Consignments and coffee at a little shop beside the bank.
As we walked into the estate store Mr. M glanced at my outfit. The pants I had found in my harried search were workout capris—otherwise known as yoga pants. “You know … ” he said. “You are dressed a lot like those girls you always comment on at the gym.”
We had talked about this before. Mr. M has requested, not commanded, that I refrain from wearing the pants to the gym, and really not in public at all. But I’d ignored the request, and here I was walking down the sidewalk in them.
“I was kind of surprised you wore them,” he said sadly.
I picked at the tag on a buffet table, glancing at myself in a mirror in the corner. It was just one request he had made—a request based on what he knew of his own male mind and the minds of the men around him. But I wanted MY way, so I ignored it.
(For those who wonder why my husband felt comfortable advising me on my clothing, read That Day My Husband Told Me What To Do)
I like those pants. I like them because not only are they comfortable—as all yoga pants are—but I look trendy. I look like one of those suburban moms with a ponytail, pushing her children through the market in a twin-seat stroller. And I like that look, regardless of the consequences.
But there are consequences.
The issue here is not that I wore yoga pants. The issue isn’t yoga pants at all, but the principle of the matter. The pants are skin tight. You can see every curve of my lower body. Not only is it attractive to Mr. M, but from several informal interviews, comments and input from other men, it’s a recurring blind spot with Christian women everywhere. It’s about how hot I look, or how I want to dress, regardless of what anybody thinks.
Let’s be real: I have failed and still do fail at modesty on occasions like I just depicted above. The journey toward true femininity is one we all share as Christian women, and today I’m going to share some truth I’ve learned through my own mistakes and the studying I’ve done because of them.
I recently saw an article shared on Facebook written by a woman’s husband concerning modesty and the church. While the article addressed young men, it was primarily ‘shared’ on Facebook by … women. Why is that?
The content of the article reflected two concepts:
1. Men are not keeping their eyes to themselves and honoring their Christian sisters, and
2. Women are unfairly singled out about their clothing in the church and workplace.
There is certainly truth to the first point, and the bulk of this man’s article was very valid in its address to men and the issue of lust. But the reality is that many Christian men—at least the ones who truly seek after God and are convicted by His Spirit—are not only aware of their lust problem but are guilty about it. They are not all shameless beasts looking for an opportunity to undress women in their minds.
In many cases, the very women offended by the negative attention of men are dressing in such a way as to earn it.
The issue of modesty gets heated, as fingers are pointed and hemlines discussed, but I’m going to skip all that fuss and speak woman to woman, because I think we can handle it!

#1 Myth of Modesty: ‘It’s his job not to look.’

It’s true, lust is a sin, and men shouldn’t entertain it.
But the level of their lust is directly related to how much of our bodies is available to lust after. The less we advertise, the less opportunity we give them to covet our bodies.
The article I mentioned earlier said women have been unfairly singled out concerning modesty. While men are responsible to honor us with their eyes and minds, when we dishonor ourselves by what we wear, the real unfairness is to the men.
Do we really expect to wear whatever we want and then tell them not to look at us? Do we really expect to fit in with the latest (often sexually promiscuous) trends and NOT be viewed as an object of sexual desire?
It is not just his job not to look; it is our responsibility to provide nothing provocative to look at. We cannot blame men for what we instigate, and it is time for women of God to start acknowledging our responsibility in this matter, taking up our cross and honoring God with our dress.

#2 Myth of Modesty: Setting standards is legalistic.

I will always have a reader who emails me about my modesty posts saying that she wore yoga pants and it wasn’t a big deal.
“I understand you were convicted that it was wrong,” the email might kindly explain. “But I haven’t been convicted yet.”
I’m not here to write a list of rules to be broken or ignored, but rather to talk about real issues that address real young women. I realize that it is not my job to write your personal standards of modesty. But since we are on the topic of yoga pants, let me share some things Mr. M commented to me when I was writing this post:
“Yoga pants make it difficult to work out when the girls are right there and the pants are so tight; it’s basically like the woman is naked. A friend of mine even said when a girl wears yoga pants … it shows all the form and features while covering up flaws, like imperfections of the skin or cellulite. They are designed to be appealing.”
Additionally, a young man in a men’s group Mr. M once attended upheld this view. He told the men it was tough for him to try to work out where there are girls wearing yoga pants doing stretches right beside him. It was a struggle not to lust after them. He would have to make himself leave the vicinity to do his workout with the still-present threat of remembering their image and stumbling later on.
Yet another friend told Mr. M that it pained and concerned him that his girlfriend would go to the gym in her yoga pants to work with her personal trainer, but he didn’t feel he could ask her to stop without being perceived as controlling.
What is the real issue here?
Is it what not to wear? In our hearts, we know it isn’t.
It’s a standard of behavior, not a standard of dress, that is ultimately missing from our lives when we fail to be modest.
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)
Paul wanted women to dress with ‘decency and propriety … as appropriate for women who profess to worship God.’
This high calling is our standard of behavior, which directly influences our standard of dress. It calls us to be different from the trends, the culture and the leanings of the modern church. It calls us to align our spiritual life with our outward life in all things, willing to make personal sacrifices in order to do so.
Setting standards is not legalistic.
Saying that modesty is required in order to be saved is legalistic, and regulating others rather than looking into our own hearts is legalistic.
Many of us spend a lot more time telling the men of the church to quit looking and the other women in the church to quit dressing the way they do, and we never evaluate our own closets.

#3 Myth of Modesty: Men don’t care what I wear.

Oh, they do. They care.
Why else would we care so much? Why do we place such value on being told we are pretty or beautiful by a man? Why do we spend half an hour getting ready before a date?
Because men DO care what we wear, and we know it!
Men care so much what we do (or do not) wear, they are very conscious of it at all times.
While the level may differ man to man, the concept remains the same: extra skin, extra form, extra cleavage or extra leg will draw either subconscious or conscious attention from them. They are designed as visual creatures (we have had this taught to us many times over, have we not?), so a visual stimulant catches their eye.
On an innocent level, men simply like pretty things.
My brothers notice when a girl looks put together. My dad has commented on movie actresses who are classy and well-dressed. Mr. M has commented to me that a passing woman’s dress was pretty.
They like pretty things and they like when we wear them.
Because of this, we have a great power. We have the power to draw their eyes toward us for one of two reasons:

For the appeal of their desire based on revealing enough of our bodies to entice them; or
To appear attractive in personality as reflected in how we dress.

This leads me to my next point.

#4 Myth of Modesty: Lust is HIS problem.

Lust is a rampant problem in the church and in our culture. Most often lust is addressed with men, but it is also a major issue in the lives of women. It simply looks different for women than it does for men.
In Myth #3, I listed two ways we can turn a man’s head:

For the appeal of his desire based on revealing enough of our bodies to entice him; or
To appear attractive in personality as reflected in how we dress.

Don’t think I can’t relate with a desire for attention. I am acutely aware that there are certain items I could wear that would draw Mr. M’s attention to my body, and I would be flattered by it. In fact, I would relish the attention and be affirmed that he found me desirable.
Note: Appreciating beauty is not the same as lust. A man can find a woman attractive, beautiful and lovely without her body being the sole focus of that attention. Lust is a desire for that which is not ours to have: the body of a person who does not belong to us. When a man ogles a woman’s chest, legs or derriere, he is focusing on the parts of her that are not his, and yet he takes them visually and mentally, cheapening the woman and demeaning himself. That is not appreciation: That is lust.
Manipulating a man’s attention for the purpose of affirmation is how women are tempted to lust.
Case in point: Eve.
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” (Gen. 3:6)
Eve was given to Adam as his most trusted companion. She was also the most perfect beauty ever to be created in the body of a woman. You can bet her beauty served her well as she asked Adam to taste-test the forbidden fruit!
Eve thought the fruit of the tree was useful and pretty, but also desirable.
“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:16)
When I give into my desire to for a man’s attention, at the expense of his endeavor to honor God, I am giving in to the lust of my flesh and encouraging the lust of his eyes.
I am also expressing pride by ignoring God’s command for ‘decency and propriety’ since I claim to worship Him. I am becoming Eve.

#5 Myth of Modesty: Modesty is just something I do.

“The more you cover up, the more [a Christian man] will want you. Men like mystery, and when you reveal that mystery walking down the street, there is no reason for them to pursue you. They’ve already gotten their reward.” —Mr. M.
Would you like to reward passing men with a glimpse of your body?
Men who couldn’t care less about who you are?
Modesty affects us, ladies. It affects us greatly. It affects how we are perceived, how we are respected, how we advance in our careers, and even whether we get asked on a date by a God-fearing, decent man.
Our choices in how we dress—how short our skirt is, how low our shirt is, how tight our pants are—is the clearest reflection of our personal priorities and our openness to letting God’s Word alter our lives. I realize that is a bold statement, but it is very, very true. When I am not walking in God’s Spirit and seeking to do what I read in His Word, I will wear whatever I want at the expense of the men around me and my own self-respect. In those moments, I would rather be trendy, Pinterest-y and provocative than prove to the world that I worship God.
When we stubbornly resist the call to cover up, we reveal hearts that have misplaced priorities. We have a high calling, ladies, clearly laid out in Romans 12:17-18. This passage talks about forgiveness, which applies to all treatment of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
Modesty is respectable in the sight of all men. It just is. Additionally, in our relationships with men, it depends upon us to dress in a way that keeps peace between us and our brothers.
“But Phylicia,” you may say, “how am I causing a lack of peace by how I dress?!”
“Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul … .” (1 Peter 2:11)
When we dress in a way that causes a man to lust (as far as it depends upon us), we create an unnecessary war against his soul.
Think about that for a moment.
Dressing in the way God commands—with modesty, propriety and decency—protects the men around us from waging a needless war in their souls. When we REFUSE to accept our responsibility to protect our brothers—our sisters’ husbands and sons—from lust, we are creating a war and inciting unrest in the church.
Yes, it is the responsibility of the men to turn their eyes away. So let’s entrust them to the Lord and let Him deal with their responsibilities while we concern ourselves with our own.
Ladies, I am right here with you, dealing with this issue, struggling with it, fighting with my closet over it! I am asking you to join me in this endeavor. I want to trust Mr. M. around you. I want you to trust your husbands around me.
On a final note, here is some encouragement. 1 Peter 2:12 says:
“Having your way of life honest among the Gentiles, that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.”
When we keep ourselves hidden, those who see us glorify God because they see a different woman than they are used to. Anyone can join the trends; anyone can be status quo. But the woman who chooses to change in order to obey God will be blessed in her doing.
We’re in this together, girls! Let’s honor God and earn the respect of the men around us by pursuing His standards for all of life and living.

A recently married 20-something, Phylicia works full time as a liaison between youth pastors and university recruitment. She writes at her personal blog Phylicia Delta, where she addresses issues that face young women in today’s culture. Her passion is spiritual and practical discipleship for teenage girls, college-aged women, and new brides. She is graduating with her bachelor’s degree in Religion in May 2015 through Liberty University and resides in Central Virginia with her husband, Josh. In her spare time, Phylicia enjoys road trips, biographies of the Founding Fathers, and really good coffee. More from Phylicia Masonheimer or visit Phylicia at http://phyliciadelta.com/

7 Reasons Some Churches Don’t Grow

By Greg Stier

“Sadly, many churches spend more time on Sunday morning doing church announcements than intercessory prayer.”

I’ve had the privilege of preaching at churches from coast to coast over the last 25 years of ministry. In the process, I’ve talked to countless pastors, church leaders and youth pastors about how their churches are doing when it comes to growth and the reasons for it. On one side I’ve seen churches that thrive. They grow every year both deeper and wider.
These are not always the “megachurches” but, in my book, they are the “mighty churches,” because whether they number at 200 or 2,000 they are truly Gospel Advancing on every level. These churches have that “new believer smell” in that there’s always a little edginess in the foyer because it’s usually peppered with people who don’t necessarily look like they should be there.
After having co-planted and co-pastored a church for 10 years in the Denver area, and having preached in churches across the nation, quietly evaluating what makes them work (or not), here is my list of non-scientific reasons why some churches don’t grow.
1. They’re not friendly enough.
There have been far too many times I’ve walked through the foyer of a church and NOT been greeted or said hello to or helped to find my way around. I’ve felt like an outsider floating in the midst of a group of insiders. Even if somebody just said “hello” and pointed where the auditorium, the nearest bathroom and the closest escape routes are (in case the service really goes bad), I’d feel more at home. On the other hand, when I walk into a church building, am warmly greeted and engaged, my defenses go down and I immediately feel more at home (and that’s important because usually I’m there to do the preaching that day!).
There’ve been many times as the visiting preacher I’ve seen a person or a family with that same deer-in-the-church-lights look meandering in a large church foyer, trying to find their way around. There have been many times I’ve greeted them, welcomed them to the church and said, “Let’s find the auditorium together” or “Let’s talk to somebody who looks like they know what is going on and we’ll get your kids in Sunday school … if they have one … I don’t know … but welcome!”
By the way, the guest preacher shouldn’t be doing that job!
Churches that are friendly have a much higher chance of growing than churches that are not. First impressions matter.
2. They’re not intentional enough.
I’ve talked to many pastors who have assured me that they want to grow with new believers but they have no plan to make it happen. They tell me of their vision and their new sermon series and their exciting Easter outreach. But these three things are like making a plan on “How to have an effective huddle” in a football game. No, you need the actual plays you and your congregation are going to run day in and ay out (not just on Sunday morning) if you are going to intentionally grow with new disciples being made and multiplied.
Here are three quick ideas: Give the gospel every week sometime during your church service so your people know that any time they bring someone who doesn’t know Christ they will hear the Good News of Jesus and have an opportunity to trust in Christ. Secondly, train your whole congregation how to share their faith. That’s right, if you make it a sermon series (instead of an optional small group) then the entire church (not just those already engaged in evangelism) will be on the same page. Finally, have stories in every service of how your church members are engaging their friends, co-workers, classmates and family with the good news message. This three-minute segment of your service will elevate the value of relational evangelism in ways you could never imagine.
3. They’re not organized enough.
Some churches lead people to Christ but don’t have an assimilation plan that is robust enough to get these precious new believers clicked into the life blood of the congregation. As a result, there are precious babies out there without the shelter of the church and the milk of God’s Word. In a past post, I called this “Punting the Baby.” We would never clap at the birth of a beautiful new baby and then punt it! But we do the same thing when we celebrate a new conversion and aren’t organized enough to follow up. We also need to follow up with the visitors who are already believers. (Hint: The best person to follow up is the person who invited them to your church to begin with!)
And, of course, we need to be organized in our church services, small groups, parking, etc. so that things are done, as Scripture reminds us, “decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40) … just like the Holy Spirit likes it.
4. They’re not relevant enough.
Another reason some churches don’t grow is that they are not relevant enough. If I have no church context and walk into a building where pipe organs rule the day or the Scripture reading sounds like Shakespeare or the service feels like I’m a part of a museum exhibition, then there’s a good chance I won’t come back.
But even these fade into the background compared to sermons that don’t hit the mark. Not only must the Word of God be exegeted, but the needs of the people must be too. I’ll put up with choir robes and stained glass if the sermon is hitting the mark in my soul. But if the Word of God remains a distant, confusing, religious relic instead of a sword that opens up areas of my life (Hebrews 4:12-13) for the Spirit of God to change me in powerful and practical ways, then there’s a good chance I won’t be back.
5. They’re not meaty enough.
Some churches grow initially because their services and sermons are relevant but their sermons tend to be light and fluffy. As new believers grow in their faith they get a hunger for God’s Word on a level beyond the surface. Now when I talk about “meaty,” I’m not talking about hour-long doctrinal diatribes unpacking the theological implications of angelology for a postmodern culture. I’m talking about being willing to “rightly divide the Word of God” beyond just topical series that tend to skim the surface.
I’ll never forget visiting Flatirons Church once on a Sunday morning just about 20 minutes from where I live. This church is one of the fastest growing churches in the nation and has a weekly of attendance that numbers 10,000+. To be honest, I was expecting a “light and fluffy” service, but, instead, the sermons were both meaty and practical. Soon I was scrambling for a pen and taking notes. And so were the believers and seekers all packed in around me. Nobody could ever accuse this “lights, camera, action” highly produced church service, full of pounding music and tattoos, of being irrelevant. But nobody could ever accuse this church of failing to be meaty enough. Maybe this church was growing because it found the sweet spot between being both practically relevant and theologically riveting.
6. They’re not loving enough.
Churches can seem friendly but, when you dig under the surface, a lack of love can rule the religious roost. They may attract people at first and even seem friendly, but, once in, the newcomers become grossly aware of the politics and relational dysfunction that is systemic in the congregation. Seekers and new believers often opt out for a more loving church, just stop going to church altogether or, worse yet, stay and become just like the other members of the church.
7. They’re not praying enough.
Although I listed this last it really should be first. Why? Paul told Timothy with his instructions for setting up and organizing the many churches that they planted together to make prayer a first priority. He tells his younger protege, “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.”
Churches that pray together grow together. They grow spiritually and numerically (with new believers!). Why? Because they are fueled by divine wisdom and power, instead of the latest church growth techniques and tactics. This gives them holy momentum that starts in the hearts of the people as they begin to pray for the unreached people in their lives and communities. These prayers create room in their hearts for more compassion and room in their lives for more Gospel conversations, and soon they have no more room in their churches because of all the new believers who are growing deep and going wide in the power of God.
Sadly, many churches spend more time on Sunday morning doing church announcements than intercessory prayer.
These are seven of my observations. Again, they are not scientific but purely observational.
By the way, for help in building a Gospel Advancing ministry, go to gospeladvancing.com and take the diagnostic. Although this is a youth ministry tool that Dare 2 Share developed, most of the questions apply church-wide. Here you’ll discover the seven values of a Gospel Advancing ministry that is growing in all the right ways. If this blog unpacked the seven reasons some churches aren’t growing, this website will unpack the seven values that are alive and thriving in every ministry (whether church or youth group) that are truly and effectively advancing the Gospel.
May both youth ministries and churches across the nation start growing in all the right ways!

Greg Stier is the President and Founder of Dare 2 Share Ministries, which is mobilizing teenagers across America to share their faith. More from Greg Stier or visit Greg at http://www.dare2share.org

Minggu, 14 Juni 2015

How To Create Margin In Your Life To Do The Things You Love

By Tim Parsons

I work hard. I bet you do too. The work weeks are long and the hours that we put in at our jobs seem to grow over time. The idea of one person doing the work of two or even three has permeated our culture in the wake of diminishing budgets and lower sales. As leaders, we have lots of motivation to put in a ton of hours each week – a better bottom line, fulfilling the mission, and simply getting the job done, to name a few…
Because of this, many people struggle to have a real life, doing the things they love, outside of work. The weeknights go by too quickly and the weekends are full of necessary tasks like paying bills, grocery shopping, etc. It’s all understandable, but in my opinion, it’s not acceptable.
Now that I’ve been blogging for over a year, I often have people ask me how I have the time to do it. Last year, I wrote over 100 posts and grew my platform exponentially. It was an exciting year that happened with many other things going on in my life that could have easily kept me from accomplishing these amazing results.
I’ve found that creating margin to do the things you love NEVER happens by accident. No one ever looks back on a year and wonders how they were able to achieve every goal they set for themselves. And, if we’re waiting for our boss to give us a 6 month leave to focus on the things we love, we’re simply dreaming.
The things that we love that we don’t have time for can come in a lot of shapes and sizes. It could be that you want to spend more time with your kids. Or maybe you want to learn a new hobby or skill. Or you want to go back to school and earn that degree. For me, it was launching a blog so that I could write about the things I love and help people along the way. Whatever that thing is for you, there’s a formula that must be followed or it will never happen.
1. Identify WHAT? What is it that you want to make time for? Be specific.
2. Identify WHY? Why is it that you want to make time for that? Write it down.
3. Identify WHO? Who needs to be along side you on this quest? Ask them.
4. Identify HOW? How are you going to find the time to dedicate to it? Make a plan.
5. Identify WHEN? When will you do it? Make it routine and recurring.
You already know my what and why. My who was my wife. I needed her to motivate and encourage me. She had to be onboard with my idea or else it was never going to work. I knew that we were going to have to make some sacrifices to make it happen, so involving her in the conversation was key. My how was that I was going to “give up” some of my time off. So, I regularly take Friday (a day off for me) and I write and work on my blog on Fridays – and that’s also my when. Sometimes I work on it in the evenings and other days through the week, but it is understood that Fridays are my day to be away from home…writing.
Doing what you love means that you’ll have to make some sacrifices. You’ll have to choose between two or more things that may all seem like really good things. But, you’ll have to make the choice if you want to create the margin necessary. For some, it’s that they give up some sleep and get up crazy early to write or exercise or work on their side business. For others, it’s that they give up some time with friends or family in order to focus on what they love. All of those are GREAT things, but a choice must be made.

Investing in Your Own Personal Growth

By Mark Howell

I am convinced that whatever we want to happen in the lives of the members of our groups must happen first in the lives of our leaders. If you’ve been along for much of this conversation, you’ve already heard this. I suppose you might even be sick of hearing about it (hopefully not).

I’m also convinced that this principle extends upstream to indicate that whatever you want to happen in the lives of your leaders must happen first in the lives of your coaches and ultimately, what is happening in the life of the small group pastor makes possible the kinds of life-changing experiences happening at the member level. See also, The Most Important Contribution of the Small Group Pastor and Skill Training: Equip Your Coaches to Develop and Disciple Your Leaders.
If it’s true that what happens in the life of the small group pastor ultimately impacts and affects what happens at the member level of our groups…it makes sense that we would pay attention to our own personal growth. That’s why I was very pleased to see 5 questions on our new staff evaluation tool at Canyon Ridge.
Grow Up

What is filling you up spiritually?
What’s God up to in your life right now?
How have you connected with God in the last 30 days?
What personal development targets are you aiming at in the next 90 days?
What are you doing right now to grow in your work related skills?

Image by Francis Eatherington

Little Faith + Big God = Huge Results

By Rick Warren

Is it possible to be filled with faith and doubt at the same time? Yes!
You can have faith that God wants you to do something and still be scared to death. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is going ahead and doing what you’re called to do in spite of your fear.
You have to begin with the faith you already have: it may be just a little, but you start there. A beautiful example of this is the story of the man who brought his sick son to Jesus in Mark 9. Jesus looked at the man and said, “I can heal your son. If you will believe, I will heal him.”
The father then makes a classic statement: “Lord, I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.”
Have you ever felt like that? “Lord, I have some faith. But I also have some doubts.” This man was filled with faith and doubt, yet despite his honest doubts, he went ahead and asked Jesus for a miracle. And he got his miracle – Jesus healed his son.
No matter how weak or how frail you think your faith is, it’s enough. Pastor, it’s enough to get you through what you’re facing, and it’s enough to complete the vision God has planted in your heart.
Matthew 17:20 says, “If you have faith as small as the mustard seed, nothing will be impossible to you.” That’s not a lot of faith; in fact, it’s just a little faith. But what else does that verse teach? “If you have faith as the mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, ‘Move’ and it will be moved.”
Mustard seed faith moves mountains. Don’t get this reversed. We like to read this verse backward. We want it to say, “If you have faith like a mountain you can move a mustard seed” – as if it takes enormous faith to do a very little task.
Everybody has faith. You had faith this morning when you ate your cereal — faith that your spouse didn’t put poison in your granola! Ha! You had faith when you sat down in your computer chair — faith that it wouldn’t collapse.
Everybody has faith; the difference is what you put your faith in.
Sometimes people will tell me they don’t want to join Saddleback until all their questions are answered; or they don’t want to make a commitment to Christ until they understand it all.
It’s not uncommon for a pastor to tell me he doesn’t want to start a new ministry until all his doubts are cleared up.
But that’s not the way it works. If that was the way to approach ministry, it wouldn’t take any faith at all.
Instead, God wants you start with the faith you have, and based on the example of the mustard seed, you don’t need a whole lot of faith to do great things for God. You just need a little.
So here’s a trustworthy equation:
Little faith+Big God=Huge results
You take your little faith; “Lord, I believe! Help me with my unbelief!” And you put it in our big God. And then he’ll show you how he works out huge results.

Religious Decline in America

Barna's Must-Reads on Religious Decline in America

The recent release from Pew on religious affiliation in the U.S. and the continuing rise of the "Nones" confirms the trends Barna Group has identified over the past decade. Based on data from more than one hundred thousand interviews, Barna has found that religious identity is only one aspect of faith's changing landscape. More than 30 years of studying Christian belief and activity in America has revealed that diminished church attendance is one of the first indicators of a waning faith. In other words, people usually drop out of church before they drop out of Christianity.

Dropouts are the canary in the coalmine of declining religious identity. And, while church attendance has been steadily on the decline for decades, Millennials in particular are dropping out of church at an accelerated pace.

To understand these trends—increasing churchlessness across all age groups, growing secularization and young adults dropping out of church and faith—read the most-referenced articles on barna.org that explore our research on these topics.

Churchlessness & Secularization

2015 State of Atheism in America

10 Facts About America's Churchless

5 Trends Among the Unchurched

How Post-Christian Is America?

Young Adult Dropouts

3 Spiritual Journeys of Millennials

5 Myths about Young Adult Church Dropouts

6 Reasons Young Christians Leave Church

5 Reasons Millennials Stay Connected to Church

10 Ways Coming To Church Should Make You Feel Like You Are Coming Home

By Brian K. Dodd

Last week I had a meeting with an incredible group of church leaders. As part of our initial time together, I like to ask each of those in attendance what brings them back to their church week after week. After all, in America, there is no shortage of churches to attend. Often, there is one on every corner. So I am particularly interested in what is it about this particular church that so connects you to the heart of God?
As we went around the room and I heard each person’s individual story, one response stopped me dead in my tracks. It was unlike any answer I had ever heard.
The gentleman looked right at me and very calmly but with extreme certainty said the following words, “You travel a lot. Do you know how you feel when arrive back at home? That’s how I feel when I come to this church.”
His words pierced my heart and have stuck with me all week. Going to church should feel like coming home.
As I gave it some thoughts, I realized there are 10 Ways Coming To Church Should Make You Feel Like You Are Coming Home:

My family, which I love, is at home. I should have a church family I love as well.
People are happy to see me when I come home. They welcome me home. People should be happy to see me at church. It should be as though they are welcoming me home.
I am loved unconditionally when I come home. I should be loved unconditionally when I come to church.
I am treated with kindness when I come home. I should be treated with kindness when I come to church.
I know my role and where I fit at home. I should know my role and where I fit at church.
I can rest and relax at home. I should be able to rest and relax at church.
I laugh and have fun when I come home. I should be able to laugh and have fun when I come to church.
I can sleep in my own bed at home. I am comfortable. I should be comfortable when I come to church.
I feel safe and secure at home. I should feel safe and secure when I come to church.
I matter at home. My life should matter when I come to church as well.

How do you feel when you arrive at church? Is it anything like I just described?

Skill Training: How Transparent Should I Be as a Group Leader?

By Mark Howell

Question: How transparent should I be as a small group leader? Should I share my struggles with the group? Or should I seek to be an example to my group?

This is a good question, don’t you think? Isn’t it the internal debate that every leader has?
In my post, 8 Habits of Life-Changing Small Group Leaders, I point out several interrelated habits that I believe must be cultivated by every small group leader.
First, small group leaders need to make time with God a daily priority. A regular and ongoing conversation with God adds an essential ingredient to spiritual growth. Spending consistent time with God, reading His word and praying, are not elective activities. Jesus modeled this essential habit. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35 NIV
Second, small group leaders need to follow the best example and offer a good example. The Apostle Paul urged the members of the church in Corinth to “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV).” This is an important teaching. He’s not asking them to do anything he’s not doing. He’s challenging them to follow his example (as he follows the example of Christ).
A little frightening, right? But is it too challenging for a small group leader? I love Paul’s words to the ordinary church members at Ephesus: “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV).”
Third, small group leaders need to know they haven’t arrived. One key to this habit is developing an openness about your journey that allows you to share the fact that while you are becoming more like Jesus, you are not yet fully like Him. You still have struggles. You still stumble.
I love the Apostle Paul’s words to the church at Philippi: “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12-14 NIV).”
Let’s get practical: The question today is how transparent should I be as a small group leader? Here are 5 guiding principles:

Trying to appear to have it all together isn’t helpful. If the Apostle Paul acknowledged that he was a work in progress, you can too.
Use discretion when determining what to share and with whom to share. Some hurts, hangups or habits can be shared openly. Some specifics are better shared with an accountability partner or coach/mentor.
Model the depth of appropriate sharing. As you are open about your own journey, your members will often begin to develop a comparable openness. See also, Life-Change at the Member Level Begins with You.
Practice sub-grouping for prayer and accountability. Developing the practice of sub-grouping for prayer and accountability will help you and your members to learn to be transparent. See also, Skill Training: Sub-Grouping for a Deeper Connection.
Enlist an accountability partner. Modeling this spiritual practice will help your group members to do the same. There are some hurts, hang-ups and habits that should be shared at this level. See also, The Power of a Spiritual Training Partner.

Image by Jone

Stop Preaching About All the Good People In the Bible!

By Brandon Cox

There are no “good” people in the Bible – at least not in the theological sense – except for Jesus. Everybody else is wrecked and ruined by sin and desperately in need of a Savior. So the way we have traditionally approached character-based sermons has a tremendous flaw. Here’s the traditional approach…

Tell the story of a Bible character.
Highlight the good stuff they did.
Challenge people to follow their examples.

I’ve done plenty of that kind of preaching in my life in ministry, and I wish I could go back and re-preach them all from a totally different perspective. There are some major flaws with this kind of preaching. First of all, it’s moralism. It gives the idea that we can, in our own power, actually DO the good things we see the characters doing. But we can’t. We don’t. We fail repeatedly.
Second, preaching in this way assumes that the central protagonist of the story is a human being such as Abraham, David, or Paul. But the real protagonist in both the metanarrative of Scripture as well as each of its rather diverse stories is God. It’s about him. It’s his book, he’s the hero, and its his character and will we see unfolded. The people involved just illustrate all the things we learn about God.
Third, it’s discouraging. I’ll never be an Abraham or Noah. At least I won’t be the kind of Abraham or Noah that we often preach about. I might be like the Abraham who lied about his wife’s identity a couple of times and failed to stick to God’s plan while trying to make things happen on his own. Or I might have a few things in common with the Noah who embarrassed his sons at the end of his story in his state of drunkenness. But we usually like to make the heroes sound positive.
But the heroes of the Bible are often misrepresented in our desire to make them look good in their faith. What we want to say to the congregation is, “See, Abraham believed God and he wound up being a really, really great guy because of it!”
So if this is the wrong way to preach from the life of a Bible character, what’s the right way? What should we be preaching about from the lives of Bible characters? Here’s my alternative approach.

Tell the story of a Bible character.
Explain how and why they failed or were incapable of doing God’s will.
Point out God’s grace was powerfully at work in their lives, redeeming them and re-shaping them.
Challenge people to look to Jesus alone for that same redemption.
Encourage people to try a better approach under God’s grace and in God’s power.

In my view, this is a far more Christological and even helpful approach than using the characters of the Bible like shining examples of greatness. So don’t preach about all the good people in the Bible. Preach about the goodness of God to redeem sinful people and empower them to make different decisions based on his truth.
photo via ben read // youthmin.org

Brandon Cox

Brandon Cox has been a Pastor for fifteen years and is currently planting a church in northwest Arkansas, a Saddleback-sponsored church. He also serves as Editor of Pastors.com and Rick Warren's Pastors' Toolbox, and authors a top 100 blog for church leaders. He's also the author of Rewired: Using Technology to Share God's Love.

10 Commandments to Help Church Staff Maintain Moral Integrity

By Rick Warren

No matter how many times I hear it, it still shocks me: A pastor announces his resignation because of adultery. Often it’s with someone within his church, sometimes even someone actively involved in ministry, such as a choir member or Sunday school teacher.
It’s such an incredible waste of God’s resources that it not only grieves me, it angers me. I have told my staff that if any of them even flirt with temptation, I will come after them with a baseball bat, and I’ve told them to do the same with me.
As Christian leaders, we need to be above reproach. Paul wrote, “Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.” (1 Cor. 10:12, Msg)
That’s why I established these Saddleback Staff Standards for maintaining moral integrity:

Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex. *
Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you. *
Thou shalt not kiss any attender of the opposite sex or show affection that could be questioned. *
Thou shalt not visit the opposite sex alone at home.
Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex alone at the office, and thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex more than once without that person’s mate. Refer them.
Thou shalt not discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex in counseling. Refer them.
Thou shalt not discuss your marriage problems with an attender of the opposite sex.
Thou shalt be careful in answering emails, instant messages, chatrooms, cards, or letters from the opposite sex.
Thou shalt make your secretary your protective ally.
Thou shalt pray for the integrity of other staff members.

* The first 3 do not apply to unmarried staff.
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” ~ Eph. 5:3 (NIV)

Why Every Church Should Address Depression and Anxiety

By Jarrid Wilson

“I never tried to take my own life in my younger years, but I frequently found myself googling painless ways to commit suicide, and really had no remorse once finding what I was looking for.”

It’s no secret that my past was ridden with mental health issues—ones that kept me from wanting to live for much of my teenage life. I’m very vocal about this truth, and I will continue to be as long as my story may have an impact on others who need to hear it. And while I do believe today’s church is doing better at addressing the issue that is mental health, I believe there can be so much more done than what is currently taking place in regards to depression and anxiety. Let me explain.
I never tried to take my own life in my younger years, but I frequently found myself googling painless ways to commit suicide and really had no remorse once finding what I was looking for. It was a sad state to be in. The reality is that my life was infected with the burden of depression and anxiety, and the only places I could find reliable information from were not churches in my local area. Why? Because mental illness wasn’t really talked about.
I felt as if all the “Christian” resources were outdated and really didn’t address the fact that taking medication was OK in the eyes of God. There really wasn’t much information at all. It was as if all the answers I was finding were suggesting that I just needed more faith. Seriously? The last thing someone contemplating suicide wants to here is, “just have faith.” I understand that Jesus has the power to conquer anything that comes my way, but please don’t throw Christians clichés at me. I wanted real, authentic and practical information, and I assume there are millions in this world who would want the same. It’s what Jesus would have done.
I really wanted to find help in the church, but there were no ministries or nonprofits working within the walls of local congregations that I could reach. All the counseling and help I received came years after I actually needed it, and it was found in the secrecy of a local medical facility, not a church—where it should have been all along.
Mind you, the church has come a long way since my teenage years in regards to helping those with mental illness, but I believe we can still do a lot more.

Some Statistics

1. It is reported that 1 in 10 Americans are affected by depression.
2. Over 80 percent of people who are clinically depressed are not receiving treatment.
3. The number of people diagnosed with depression increases by 30 percent every year.
4. An estimated 121 million people around the world suffer from depression.
5. In 2013, 41,149 suicides were reported, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for Americans
6. In 2013, someone died by suicide every 12.8 minutes.

We Need the Church

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” —1 Peter 5:7
Here’s the thing … I understand that there is importance to seeing what many would call a “professional” in the field of mental health issues, but this doesn’t mean that the local church shouldn’t be prioritizing leadership roles and ministry efforts to help those who deal with these issues. I understand that not all churches lack in this area, but I bet there are more who do than don’t.
My wife and I have met with and counseled dozens of young people over the last year, all sharing with us the brutal battle that is taking place within their souls. Suicide attempts, cutting, depression and anxiety are just the beginning of what these young people were facing.
We NEED the church to step up in its efforts to be more vocal in regard to mental illness. Whether that be through a sermon series, free resources, creating nonprofits or even cultivating a designated year-long ministry. Regardless, the church should be at the front lines of this battle. People need a safe place where they can be honest and transparent with what they are going through.
There is nothing wrong with admitting you are depressed, cutting, have attempted suicide or are even contemplating it. There is nothing wrong with seeking medical attention and being prescribed medication to help you along the journey. And there is nothing wrong with admitting you need help.

A Few Resources

1. Heart Support.
2. My Broken Palace.
3. To Write Love on Her Arms.
4. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety or has even thought of suicide, please give them the resources above and do not wait another minute.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor and author relentlessly sharing the love of Jesus. More from Jarrid Wilson or visit Jarrid at http://JarridWilson.com