EAGLES NEST MINISTRIES: Mei 2015

Sabtu, 30 Mei 2015

How To Heal a Wound That Won’t Heal

By C. E. Stowers

Do you have a wound that won’t heal?
“A wound that has been present for more than six weeks is considered a chronic wound and may need special treatment,” according to Dr. Prasad Kilaru, a plastic surgeon and director of the Washington Center for Wound Healing and Hyperbaric Medicine.
beauty girl cry

Have you ever had a cut that required stitches? Have you ever had a surgery of any kind? Deep cuts and surgical procedures leave wounds that often require stitches. Eventually the stitches are removed and the pain goes away. What do you do about wounds you can’t see? How do you begin to stitch emotional wounds embedded deep within the recesses of one’s heart?
Hidden wounds are memories that hurt

Hidden Wounds are Memories That Hurt

Hidden wounds are the recollections from your past that when you think about them, they still cause pain in your life. Some define them as memories of abandonment. Some have memories of abuse. Some even have memories of ridicule, criticism or hatred.
Hidden wounds come from prejudices in society. They come from family members (they are the ones that hurt the most). Sometimes they come from parents, our children, our siblings, and aunts and uncles. You can get wounded in the work place. They’re everywhere.
I’ve been a pastor for a long time and I’ve talked to people and I’ve learned two truths about life.

Everyone has a hidden wound. You may be masking it but everybody has a hidden wound. An emotional scar from someone in the past who hurt you in a serious way.
Hidden Wounds (emotional scars) take longer to heal than physical wounds.

Are you ready for some good news? The good news is this: Jesus wants to heal your hidden wounds.

I am Jehovah Rapha,” which means “I am the God who heals.

The Bible says this in Psalm 147:

God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.

How does He do that?

Healing Begins When Secrecy Ends

The last person you should be dishonest with is yourself. You’re never going to get well until you face your feelings straight on. Psalm 39 talks about the problem of suppressing your feelings. It says:

I kept very quiet but I became even more upset. I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. Psalm 39: 2-3

The author’s saying how holding on to hurts is like carrying hot coals in your heart – you’re the one who gets burned. Hidden wounds, when you try to suppress them, don’t heal. They feaster. Pushing a hurt aside doesn’t get rid of it. It just makes it worse.

Are You Ready to Be Healed?

If you said yes, then be honest about your pain, your fear, your anger, and your resentment and bitterness over what people did to you. You start by revealing your hurts to three different people:

Be honest with yourself. You have to own up to “This hurts! I’m ashamed of this or I still hurt over this.”
Be honest to God. You say, “God, this is how I feel!” and you vent, let it all out. God can handle that. He already knows how you hurt because He saw it when you were hurt. God’s not surprised when you’re honest about the pain and shame in your life. He already knows, cares, and loves you.
Be honest with your accountability partner. There’s something healing about revealing your feeling to someone you trust. When you suppress it, you’re only hurting yourself. You’re never going to get well until you reveal your hurts.

Are you ready for your hidden wounds to heal?

No More Business As Usual

By Scott Attebery

Talking about the objective truth of Scripture is comfortable for me. I love a good discussion about how Jesus became the sacrifice for my sin or how my life should reflect the gospel.
But I have difficulty when the topic turns from objective truth to subjective experience. I tend to shy away from discussions about how close I am to God or how well I communicate in prayer.
I think my shyness regarding the subjective aspects of faith stem from a fear of being led by my feelings instead of being led by truth. This is a legitimate concern. After all, Scripture tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things…” (Jer. 17:9)
But to say that because our feelings are unreliable, we must squelch any idea of a subjective relationship with God is a fallacy. In fact, to deny a subjective relationship with God is to deny the objective truth of Scripture.
That’s right; Scripture teaches that we are to have a relationship with God that goes beyond knowledge of truth. In John 14:23, Jesus states, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”
Wow! God promises to make his home with the believer who keeps His Word. He even says that He will pursue the relationship –and that it will be marked by love. This kind of language is reminiscent of the gracious love the prodigal son found when returning to His Father or the love described, “as a bridegroom rejoices over His bride, so will I rejoice over you.” (Isaiah 62:5)
God’s love relationship with us is so wonderful that if Scripture didn’t teach it, it would be hard to believe!
Often the Bible refers to this as the “presence of God,” or “God’s presence.” For instance:

In your presence there is fullness of joy. (Psalm 16:11)
Come into His presence with thanksgiving in your heart… (Psalm 95:2)
Cast me not away from your presence. (Psalm 51:11)

All of these verses point out a presence of God that goes beyond His omnipresence. It wouldn’t make sense to think otherwise. If there was fullness of joy in God’s omnipresence, everyone would be enjoying it. And by definition, you can’t “come into” or be “cast… away” from omnipresence!
Instead, Scripture states, “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)
The presence of God is a personal relationship between God and the believer. So you can see how avoiding the subjective nature of our faith can be a big problem. It can leave us with a skewed picture of God and a life lacking intimacy with our Creator.
For instance, through the help of a counselor, I recently discovered this “subjective shyness” affecting my prayer life. I had been approaching my time with God more like a business meeting than a deep conversation. My prayers lacked intimacy, substance, and openness. I had to get beyond a business relationship! In other words, I came to God like a parent at the dinner table who still had work on his mind. I was “there,” but I wasn’t really “there.”
Others affects of “subjective shyness” may include the urge to 1) prove yourself to God rather than rely upon His grace, 2) approach the Christian life as a painful duty rather than a wonderful delight, 3) assume that God has left you on your own without any encouragement or help.
So why have I been so afraid of the subjective? Because I didn’t want to go overboard with the subjective and fall into error. But the irony is that, by avoiding the subjective, I went overboard in the other direction –which is also error!
So here are a few helpful guidelines for finding a biblical balance:

If you believe that the presence of God is a substitute for time in God’s Word, you are in error. God’s presence does not lead us away from His Word. Instead, His Word leads us into His presence.
Further, if you believe that God has told you something that is contradictory to His Word, you are in error.
On the other hand, if you resist the idea of enjoying God, you are in error. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.—John 15:11
And if you feel that God loves you, but doesn’t really like you, you are in error. He literally delights in you! (Isaiah 62:5)

So go ahead, enjoy the presence of God in your life. I promise, it won’t be “business as usual.”

Pastors, You Will Never be Better Than

By Ronnie Floyd

You will never be better than the people you meet, the books you read, and the places you go. Many years ago, I heard this statement and have never forgotten it.
In My Journey
In my life journey, especially over these past months, I have often thought of this statement. You know, it really is true. I believe it is especially true for pastors.
Oftentimes, we can get in a rut. We live in our comfort zones, reading the same old things, seeing the same people again and again, and basically revisiting the same places. The result is often a familiarity that results in an unhealthy satisfaction. It can lead to meaningless redundancy, ministry boredom, and even an unhealthy status emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
I Am Convinced
I am convinced that I become more effective personally and as a leader when I am regularly meeting new people that are challenging me to be better in some area. I am also convinced that I become better with the things I read or listen to, for example, via podcast. I am convinced that the places I travel open endless relationships and fresh perspectives that inspire me to reach new heights.
This March, I ministered in the Middle East for twelve days. Additionally, I have just returned from four days in Cuba, ministering in an incredible environment of one of the greatest moves of God in the world today. I will write more about this in days to come.
I can assure you that God has used these two major experiences, including others, to absolutely make me better in every way.
These places or experiences are not enriching simply due to different lands or cultures, but because of the people I met and the encounters I experienced. God used the month of March to advance me in my life, perspective, vision, and leadership as a pastor. Yes, He used His body, the Church, with all of its diverse and multiple gifts, to minister to me in ways beyond description.
Take the Challenge
I would urge you to take the challenge of the statement laid out in the first sentence. Why? Simply put, it will make a difference in your life.
You will never be better than the people you meet, the books you read, and the places you go.

Why You Should Make At Least One Mistake Each Week

By Rick Warren

It’s not uncommon for me to remind the leaders at Saddleback that they have my permission to make at least one mistake a week. I tell this to staff members and to lay leaders, explaining periodically that it’s OK to make mistakes — provided they’re not making the same mistakes over and over again each week.
Now, obviously, I don’t want the leaders at Saddleback to fall into sloppy habits, but I do want them to feel free to fail because that means they’ll also feel free to take risks! My point is that, if you’re not making mistakes, then you’re probably not trying anything new. And, if you’re not trying anything new, then you’re not learning, and if you’re not learning, then you and your ministry will quickly be out-of-date, perhaps even irrelevant.
The secret to being innovative is not being afraid to fail. So, let me encourage you to take risks in your ministry. Don’t be afraid to try different methods or to think way out of the box. The great inventor, Thomas Edison, saw mistakes in a positive light, saying they taught you the things that won’t work, freeing you to discover what will succeed. Edison moved on from mistakes and failures, inventing, among many things, the light bulb.
Few great things have ever been accomplished without risk-taking, and we need to teach our leaders, and our members, to take risks in their ministry for Christ. One reason this is so critical to your ministry is that it ties into faith-building. In other words, ‘risk-taking’ is an expression of faith, and a godly ‘risk-taker’ is being faithful in his service to God.
Will we believe God for big things? If the answer is ‘yes,’ then we automatically become godly ‘risk-takers’ — men and women who trust God and live by faith and not by sight. When we teach our people to take risks, we are teaching them to develop faith in God.
One way to teach this concept is to take people to Mark 10:27b (NIV): “… all things are possible with God.” Ask your leaders to circle the word “all,” and to write the letters “NSD” next to that verse. “NSD” means No Small Dreams. We serve a big God, and he says the size of our faith will determine the size of our blessings in life: “According to your faith will it be done to you. …” (Matthew 9:29, NIV)
A great biblical example of faithful risk-taking is in Matthew 25, where Jesus tells the story of three servants who are given a varying amount of talents by their master just before he goes on a long journey. Jesus says one servant was given ten talents, which he went out and doubled; another servant was given five talents, which he also doubled. When the master returned, he told these servants, “Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.” (Matthew 25:23, Msg) In many biblical translations, the master describes these servants as faithful.
But, in the story, the servant who was given one talent proves to be unfaithful, telling his returning master, “… I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.” (Matthew 25:24b-25, Msg)
Jesus says the master was furious, and he told the servant: “… That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.” (Matthew 25:26-27, Msg)
The master then said the single talent should be given to the one who risked the most: “And get rid of this ‘play-it-safe’ who won’t go out on a limb. …” (Matthew 25:29, Msg) The point is — when you’re not taking risks with God, you’re being unfaithful.
Pastor, if we’re not taking any risks in our ministries, then we’re really not exercising any faith, and if we’re not exercising any faith, then we’re being faith-less. This week, think about the risks you are taking, or that you should be taking in your ministry.

J.D. Greear: How Our Culture Undervalues Sex

Free eBooklet: “The Gospel Truth: The Good News in 1 Thessalonians”

An examination of the Apostle Paul’s use of the word “gospel” in the book of 1 Thessalonians.

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Download and share this 5-part study on the book of 1 Thessalonians with your small groups.
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7 Things That Show How and Why Jesus Chose His Friends

By Joseph Mattera

“A person’s destiny is often determined by those closest to them in regards to quality time spent, mutual goals and common purpose.”

When most people think of how to choose their friends, they have more of a worldly, casual concept rather than a biblical one. In John 15:15, Jesus told his disciples He called them friends and not servants. Since the Kingdom of God is based upon relationship and not ministry, it is important we know how to choose our friends wisely.
Many churches and even Christians attempt to engender friendships merely to have nice fellowship together. However, true kingdom fellowship should be with the ultimate goal of getting closer to someone to advance kingdom purposes. Most folks are too quick to call someone a friend and/or choose friends just because they have a few things in common. Choosing friends should be a lot more important than just picking as a friend someone you merely work with or enjoy watching a football game with. Merely liking someone should not be the only criteria.
There are many people I would like to consistently hang out with. But when it comes to the kingdom, there is more to it than that. I have to ask myself if I am called to build with someone before I make a long-term commitment to him or her. The reason is obvious: A person’s destiny is often determined by those closest to them in regards to quality time spent, mutual goals and common purpose. You are whom you choose to “hang with” the most.
The following are some of the criteria Jesus had before He chose who would be His friends:
1. He prayed about it.
In Luke 6:12-13 Jesus prayed all night before He chose the 12 closest people to Him. This shows His choice of a friend was not haphazard; neither should ours be.
2. His friends lived lives of obedience to God.
In John 15:14 Jesus said, “I call you friends if you do what I command you.” It would be foolish for a believer to make their closest friends and confidantes people who live purposeless lives before the Lord. This is not to say that we cannot have friends who do not follow Christ. Jesus at times spent time with sinners (Luke 7:34). However, He did not hang out with them merely to have a good time but to win them to His Father so they would eventually live a life of obedience. Also, these “sinners” were not the ones He invested the most time with unless they became His disciples. Paul encouraged Timothy to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart (2 Timothy 2:22).
Consequently, we should not be close friends with someone unless they are serious about pursuing the things of God.
3. Jesus chose His friends to be with Him in order to send them out.
Mark 3:14 teaches that the primary expectation Jesus had at first with those He chose as friends was to spend time together. They had to learn to “do life” together, not just Bible studies and attend synagogue. However, the ultimate result of their proximity to Him was to be sent out to preach. After all, how could they proclaim a Jesus they did not know and how could they know Him unless they spent quality time with Him? No one should be quick to call someone a friend before they have spent much quality time with them and know them personally.

4. Jesus chose friends He could share His heart with.
John 15:15 teaches us that Jesus shared His heart with His friends who understood Him. In Matthew 13:11 Jesus told His friends, “To you it has been given to understand the secrets of the kingdom of heaven but to them (non-friends) it has not been given.” If someone cannot understand your heart or believe in your vision it will be difficult for them to be a true kingdom friend.
5. Jesus proactively chose His friends.
John 15:16 teaches us (in the context of His choosing friends) that people did not choose Him but vice versa. Although this passage is also referring to salvation, it also shows that His methodology for choosing friends was proactive (not reactive) based on their calling to build with Him. Consequently, we should determine in our hearts who we should pursue in a friendship. Don’t merely pick those who desire to be close to you; proactively choose people based on a leading of the Lord. Not everyone who wanted to be close to Jesus was given that access; out of the multitudes, He only had an inner circle of three, then 12 and then 70.
The others only had access to Him during brief moments of their lives. If you are going to be fruitful in the kingdom, you cannot spend a lot of time with every person you meet. For example, I do not feel guilty for not answering every Facebook message or email sent to me; if I did I would either suffer burnout, leave important work undone, or lose my primary focus and miss my calling.
6. Jesus’ friends received His hard sayings.
In John 6:66-68 many of His disciples left Him because they could not receive the meat of the word! His true friends were thus separated from those who were merely temporary acquaintances. Your true friends will stand by you even when God gives you a hard saying and/or call to do something that is not understood by many other people.
7. Jesus’ friends were those who stood by Him during His trials.
Luke 22:28-29 shows that His closest friends were those who stuck it out with Him during His earthly trials. God will often allow you to go through a severe personal or ministerial trial to test those around you to demonstrate who your real friends are. You can only build with those who are faithful to you during difficult times and not only when things are going well.

Joseph Mattera is in demand internationally as a speaker and consultant : His mission is to influence leaders who influence nations : to order one of his four books or to subscribe to his weekly newsletter go to www.josephmattera.org More from Joseph Mattera or visit Joseph at http://josephmattera.org/

20 Honest Insights on Making It to 25 Years in Marriage

By Carey Nieuwhof

“The truth is, marriage is work. Hard work. But it’s wonderfully hard work.”

This month, my wife Toni and I celebrated 25 years of marriage.
I love her more than I ever dreamed of.
And it’s also been a totally different experience than either of us thought it would be.
I love this picture of us leaving our wedding reception because in many ways it show us stepping out into the world when we honestly had NO IDEA what life would bring us. We just had hopes and dreams.
Carey and Toni Nieuwhof

I have no data on this, but I think leaders perhaps struggle in their marriages more than others do.
Anecdotally, at least, I hear from leader after leader who says it’s been tougher at home than they thought it would be. And Toni and I have had our share of struggles for sure.
If you’re looking for a post on marriage that outlines how couples should do five things that will make their marriage perfect, you need to read someone else’s blog.
The truth is, marriage is work. Hard work. But it’s wonderfully hard work.
Both of us have felt more pain than we ever knew was possible, and more deep joy than we ever realized existed.
I love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything (except Christ, of course).
Our love has grown richer and better over time, but we’ve also had a few seasons where we wondered whether love had vaporized. There were seasons when the only reason it wasn’t over is because Jesus said it wasn’t over.
So we stayed. And our emotions eventually caught up with our obedience.
Through it all, Christ has kept us together and brought us a more wonderfully fulfilling relationship than either of us knew was possible.
On the other side of deep pain is deep joy. You’ve just got to make it there.
So what’s the key?
Well, there’s no one key, but here are 20 honest insights about making it to 25 years in marriage.
Some are observations. Some are directives. Either way, I hope they help WHEREVER you are in your marriage.

1. Love is a decision, not an emotion.

My dad always told me that love is an act of the will. He was right.
Culture says that love is an emotion. It’s something you feel, not something you do.
Culture couldn’t be more wrong.
True love is a decision … a decision to place someone else’s wellbeing above yours. To stick through the tough times. To love when you don’t feel love.
God isn’t thrilled with you all the time, yet he loves you. It’s a decision, not an emotion.

2. Your emotions eventually catch up to your obedience.

There have been a few seasons in our 25 years when we stayed together simply because we were being obedient. (I’d say Toni had to exercise her obedience more than I did.)
So you stay when you feel like leaving. You stay when you feel like doing something irresponsible.
You just obey what you believe God has called you to do in the situation. I believe God has called me to stay married to one woman for life, and Toni believes God has called her to stay married to one man for life.
And in the process of being obedient, we both discovered something incredible: Your emotions eventually catch up to your obedience.
Though the joy may have left for a few days, a few weeks, and once or twice, for a season, it came back. Deeper, richer and more abundant than we ever expected.

3. Don’t make tomorrow’s decisions based on today’s emotions.

So you can see I’ve learned not to trust my feelings, because like the rest of creation, my feelings were victims of the fall.
A quick lesson: Don’t make tomorrow’s decisions based on today’s emotions.
Sometimes we defied stereotypical Christian advice and went to bed angry. But at least we went to bed together. And reason usually returned with the dawn.
Thank goodness on those days when emotion clouded judgment, we just decided not to decide.
There’s wisdom in that for life, not just for marriage.

4. Live your story … not someone else’s.

You will be tempted to compare yourself to other couples and other ‘leadership’ couples you admire. That can be healthy. It can also be horrible.
Live your story.
I’ve heard famous preachers say they’ve never had a fight about money. I promise you we have.
You can feel terrible about that and think “what’s wrong with me?” or you can bring that before God and work it out together.
One of my all time favorite Andy Stanley series is The Comparison Trap. If you struggle with ‘why aren’t we more like X?” watch it.

5. Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook lie.

Nobody’s life is as great as they make it out to be on Instagram.
If you’re comparing your real life to someone else’s posted life, you will implode.
Not much more to say about that. You know what I mean.

6. Don’t put pressure on your spouse that only God can bear.

I heard this from Tim Keller a few years ago (do not have a source … sorry).
With the disappearance of God from more and more of our culture, people have lost a sense of the divine and the majestic.
Consequently, our desire to worship—no longer directed toward God—gets directed at our spouses and children. It places pressure on them they were not designed to bear, and many marriages and families collapse from the pressure.
Pinterest has placed a ridiculous amount of pressure on wedding receptions and even home decor that the average family can’t live up to. The kind of majesty that used to go into a cathedral now goes into a two-year-old’s birthday party.
There is something fundamentally flawed with this, and the sooner you take that pressure off your spouse, off your kids and off yourself, the healthier you become.

7. You probably married your opposite.

All those things you loved about your spouse when you were dating are the some of the things that will drive you crazy when you’re married.
We just get attracted to our opposites.
Knowing that is progress in itself, and will help you delight in your spouse (when he or she isn’t driving you crazy over said opposites).

8. Counselors are worth it.

Toni and I first started seeing a counsellor when we were in our mid-30s. I should have gone when I was in my 20s.
I don’t know where I’d be as a person, husband, father and leader without the help I’ve had from some incredible Christian counselors who have helped me see where I need grace and redemption.
I resisted going to counseling. If you’re resisting, stop. There’s freedom on the other side.

9. Progress starts when you see that you’re the problem.

We had a great couple of first years, but when tension arose I thought none of it was my fault.
After all, I had little conflict as a single guy, so who had to be bringing all this tension in my marriage? Couldn’t have been me.
I could not have been more wrong.
Now I just assume I’m probably the problem. And I usually am. It’s simpler that way … in life and leadership.

10. Your unspoken assumptions can sink you.

There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything … or so we think.
In the kitchen, I take an ingredient out, and then I put it back. And wipe the counter. Then I take the next step in cooking whatever I’m cooking.
Toni takes everything out, makes a glorious meal, and cleans up later when the food is cooking.
I assumed my way was the right way. But there’s no right and wrong here, just different.
Yet we didn’t know what was driving our kitchen tension until we named it. Now we can laugh at it (most days).
When you surface the assumptions … you mitigate the conflict.

11. When you agree on values, you’ll agree a lot more.

Because it’s often the little things you fight about, it’s important to understand where you agree on the big things.
Big things would include your faith, your approach to parenting, your philosophy of life, your priorities, your finances and more.
When you agree on your values, you’ll agree on a lot more.

12. Remember that if you leave, you take all your unresolved problems to your next relationship.

This is simply true, and you’ve seen it 1,000 times in others.
And you think you’ll be the exception to the rule.
You won’t be.

13. Pray together.

Pray together. Out loud.
Yes it’s hard. Yes it’s awkward.
Yes, men resist it. And yes, pastors resist it.
Do it.

14. If you’re a guy, lead your marriage spiritually.

My wife and I met in law school. A progressive, left-leaning law school.
Had I even suggested in any way that I was the spiritual head of a home, I would have been laughed out of the school. Or maybe arrested.
But 25 years in, there’s no question I need to lead my wife spiritually. My leadership needs to reflect Christ’s leadership (a servant’s attitude motivated by love), but it’s still leadership.
Most men resist taking spiritual leadership at home. Most male leaders resist taking authentic, Christ-motivated loving leadership at home.
Start leading in love.

15. Go on weekly date nights.

In the early days we had no money for date nights. We went anyway.
When your kids are young, it’s especially important because most of your conversation is ‘transactional’ (you cook … I’ll drive the kids to soccer).
In the rough seasons, sometimes we’d spend the first half of date night resolving arguments we couldn’t finish in the hum of everyday life. Not fun, but probably healthy.
But we had some awesome date nights too.
Don’t have time? Don’t have money?
Well, if you broke up, you’d date your new girlfriend.
So instead, date your wife. Your kids will thank you for it.
You’ll thank yourself for it one day too.

16. Don’t make your kids the center of your family.

In today’s culture, kids have become the center of many homes.
Parents have stopped living for Christ and for each other and started basing all their decisions around their kids.
There are two problems with that.
First, your kids eventually leave … leaving you with a gaping hole.
Second, putting your kids at the center of your home communicates to them that they’re more important than they are. And they know it. As Tim Elmore has suggested, this approach produces kids with high arrogance and low self-esteem.
Child-centered parenting produces self-centered kids.
The best gift you can give your kids is a Christ-centered, healthy marriage.

17. Take personal vacations WITHOUT the kids.

We were one of the few couples among our friends who did this, but every year Toni and I would get away even for a night or two WITHOUT the kids.
Our friends would tell us it had been three, five, even 10 years since they’d done it.
I’m so glad we took the time to do that. It renewed and remade us. We made significant progress on our relationship so many times we did that. Plus … so much of it was fun.

18. Take family vacations every year.

We also took family vacations every year. Often they weren’t glorious. We did what we could afford.
But our kids (now 23 and 19) tell us it was one of their favorite things growing up and something that really bonded our family.
I wrote more about why and how we took those vacations in this Parent Cue post.
Bottom line? You don’t have to go to Disney … you just have to go.

19. Figure out how to be a couple again BEFORE your kids grow up.

When our then 16-year-old drove off in the car with his brother on the day he got his driver’s licence, Toni and I were left standing in the living room waving good bye.
Then we looked at each other and said “Oh my goodness … before we know it, they’re going to be gone.”
We realized we had WAY more life ahead of us where it would just be us.
So we started new hobbies we could enjoy together (snowshoeing, hiking, cycling) and really worked on our friendship.
My favorite thing to do on my days off is to hang out with my best friend.

20. Open the gift of sex … it’s from God

There’s so much funk about sex. For the record, I believe marriage is the context God designed for sex.
The irony of course is that too many married couples lose interest in sex. I’ve met way too many people who tell me (because I’m a pastor, I guess) that they live in a sexless marriage.
Significantly, our culture only glamorizes sex outside of marriage.
When was the last time you saw a married couple on TV or in a movie in a love scene? Right … you can’t remember.
You’re probably even thinking gross, I wouldn’t want to see that. (Not that any of us should be watching steamy scenes, but you get the point.)
And now you see the problem.
Why, in our culture, is it not weird when a couple at a bar in a movie hooks up or a wife whose husband is out of town gets it on with her boss, but it is weird when two people who have committed to each other for life have sex?
Why?
Married people: Sex is a gift. Open it.
The more emotionally, relationally and spiritually close you get to your spouse, the better it gets.
OK, that’s about all I’m comfortable saying about sex!

What About You?

I could not be more excited about the next 25 years. It feels like we have a foundation for more joy, less pain and more of Christ … together. It hasn’t been easy … but it’s been completely worth it.
I’d love to hear from those of you who have made it through six months, a year, 10 years or 50 years of marriage.
What are you learning? What’s helped you?

Carey Nieuwhof is Lead Pastor of Connexus Church north of Toronto, Canada, blogs at www.careynieuwhof.com and is host of The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast available for free on iTunes. More from Carey Nieuwhof or visit Carey at http://careynieuwhof.com

The Hidden Blessings of Sharing the Gospel With Complete Strangers

By Greg Stier

“The Gospel is like a grenade. It doesn’t matter who pulls the pin … it’s gonna blow up!”

“He had to go through Samaria on the way. Eventually he came to the Samaritan village of Sychar, near the field that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime. Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food.” The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?’ Jesus replied, ‘If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.’” John 4:4-10
Though most of our personal evangelism probably happens in the context of some kind of relationship (friend, family member, co-worker, neighbor, classmate, teammate, etc.), there are countless opportunities we have throughout our lives to engage complete strangers with the good news, just like Jesus did with the Samaritan woman in John 4.
To miss those opportunities is to miss the hand of God in our everyday lives. I believe that he is constantly orchestrating “accidental” moments where intentional Gospel conversations can take place.
After the woman at the well went back to town to proclaim her newfound faith in Christ, he told his astounded disciples (a rabbi would never talk to a woman in this culture, let alone a Samaritan woman like Jesus did), “You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest” (John 4:35). In the same way, we must wake up and look around to see the ripe harvest field around us every day … at the coffee shop we frequent, in the grocery store we shop at, at the baseball game we’re watching, etc.
I decided to get even more intentional about it last Sunday. I took a small group of teenagers and a few other adults to a large shopping mall in the area last Sunday afternoon. We went there praying that God would open up Gospel conversions with complete strangers in the time we were there. And boy, did he ever! Between us we engaged in at least 30 conversations! Many of these were deep and meaningful, and I believe truly made an impact.
One of the teenagers I took was my own 14-year-old son Jeremy. My boy goes to a Christian school and has already engaged all of his neighborhood friends with the message of Jesus. I’m about to allow him to get on Facebook so he can start cultivating online Gospel conversations. But, taking him and a handful of his friends out to the mall a few days ago reminded me of the hidden blessings of sharing the good news with complete strangers.
One of the biggest blessings is that it reminds you of the power of the Gospel. Romans 1:16 tells us, “I am not ashamed of the Gospel for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.”
The Gospel is like a grenade. It doesn’t matter who pulls the pin … it’s gonna blow up! There’s something inherently powerful about the message of Jesus, so much so that most of the evangelism you read about in the New Testament centers around Jesus and the disciples reaching complete strangers with the good news. These are people they bumped into along the way. They were fisherman, tax collectors, everyday Joes and Jolenes who needed that message of hope.
Those kinds of people are all around us today. In this high-stress, low-hope culture, people need the Gospel message now more than ever.
Again, I’d like to make a caveat here because I know that we’re called to make disciples (not just converts) and I’m convinced that disciples can best be made in the context of a relationship. So I believe that a huge part of our evangelistic efforts should center around people we know and are getting to know. Because once they come to Christ, we can help them grow in Christ so they can make more disciples. I actually wrote an entire post on this called “Does street evangelism really work” a few years back for my good friend Jonathan McKee.
Having said that, I’ve seen God do some unbelievable miracles in the context of “stranger danger” evangelism. Almost 20 years ago I gave a drunk guy named Kevin a brand new More Than a Carpenter book after fruitlessly trying to share Jesus with him and his drinking buddies. Between the F-bombs, he promised to read it. Ten years later he walked into my office and threw that now marked up edition of Josh McDowell’s classic book on my desk. He said, “I read it. I trusted in Jesus. And now I carry 40 of those in the trunk of my car to hand out to the young people I meet.”
I would have totally missed that opportunity if I could only share the Gospel with him in the context of a relationship. The only reason I shared the message is because God put him and his two drunk friends on my heart as I walked past them at a shopping mall. I saw them there, obviously drunk, and God just moved in me to tell these complete strangers about Jesus.
It seemed like a complete bomb at the time. I remember thinking to myself that I just wasted that perfectly good book on a guy who will never read it. Boy was I wrong! Who knows how many will be in heaven as a result of us scattering seeds of hope wherever we go? God knows! And someday, on the other side of eternity, we will meet them and be shocked at the difference all those conversations made!
Another blessing, especially of taking teenagers out to share the good news with strangers, is that they are forced to rely on God. I watched as my son and a friend circle the food court two full times, trying to get up the courage to engage someone about Jesus. He eventually had the opportunity to talk to some teenagers. In those moments leading up to this, Jeremy was relying on God to give him courage and opportunity. Not only did he help bring someone else into the kingdom, but he himself was transformed a little more into the King’s likeness. He was owning the Gospel that he was proclaiming. He was growing in his faith at an accelerated pace.
One of the things I realized while taking these teenagers out was that they needed coaching. My son needed coaching. His friends needed coaching. I’d usually kick off the conversation for them and then say something like, “I’ll let _____________ explain more to you.” Then I’d let them share the Gospel. Some of them used the Life in 6 Words app (which works great by the way!). Others just started asking questions and engaged a Gospel conversation. They did great! I’d jump in if they needed it, but, for the most part, I tried to let them navigate the conversation on their own. It’s hard to do this level of coaching in a role playing situation within the safety of a youth room full of Christians. But in a shopping mall or skate park it’s powerful and practical!
I’ll never forget the last group of teenagers my son and I talked to on Sunday. One of the young ladies had tears in her eyes as she listened to the Gospel message. You could sense the pain in her soul as Jeremy began explaining the Gospel. By the end she put her faith in Jesus along with her friends, and Jeremy invited her to youth group so that she could begin growing in her faith.
Will they come? I don’t know. What I do know is that seeds were planted and lives were impacted.
Maybe in 10 years she’ll walk up to Jeremy and say, “Ten years ago you told me a message that changed everything for me!”
Let’s share Jesus with those we know. Let’s invest in them and introduce them to the Lord. But let’s lift up our eyes and look around at the harvest all around us all the time.

Greg Stier is the President and Founder of Dare 2 Share Ministries, which is mobilizing teenagers across America to share their faith. More from Greg Stier or visit Greg at http://www.dare2share.org

Share the knowledge. How you can become an ANS Ambassador

Share the knowledge. How you can become an ANS Ambassador
By Dan Wooding, Founder of ASSIST Ministries and the ASSIST News Service
LAKE FOREST, CA (ANS – May 29, 2015) -- English philosopher, statesman, scientist, jurist, orator, essayist and author, Francis Bacon, who served both as Attorney General and Lord Chancellor of England, once said, “Knowledge is power,” and this means that when you know about a situation, we can then join millions around the world to pray about it.
You can literally change history and that’s what we want to do through ANS.
In view of this, I am asking those of you, our loyal friends, to come an ANS Ambassador, so you will not be the only one in your family, church or group, who knows about what is going on our world today, but many others can also share in this vital information.
As you know, our unique news service provides material, sent by e-mail several times a day to your in-box, and features hot-off-the-press stories on the persecuted church, world missions, popular culture, and also about inspiring Christians who are make a difference in our world.
They are filed by a group of ANS seasoned journalists, many of whom literally risk their lives to provide these stories from some of the most dangerous parts of our world, and are picked up by global media. I have also travelled the world for many years now bringing stories from hot-spots like North Korea and China, as well as the Middle East.
One well-known subscriber who has enjoyed these stories for several years once said, “If you want to know what is going on around the world and in the Church, you need to read this.”
ANS already has thousands of media subscribers, which include many Christian leaders worldwide, as well as those of you who run a prayer group which commits to pray for persecuted Christians who are regularly featured in this unique news service. But, more than that, any believer who cares, can also avail themselves of you become a special Ambassador for ANS.
Dan Wooding reporting from outside the Kurdish Parliament in Erbil Northern Iraq

Dan Wooding reporting from outside the Kurdish Parliament in Erbil Northern Iraq

Would you take a few minutes to let your friends know that we provide a free news service to anyone who wishes to have this knowledge, so they can pray for these great heroes of the faith, like Asia Bibi, a 50-year-old Pakistani Christian mother-of-five who is languishing on death row for simply standing up for Jesus, and Pastor Saeed Abedini, the joint US-Iranian citizen, who is serving eight years in a violent Iranian prison for being a Christian.
Here are a few things you can do:
* Share with Christian friends at your church, workplace, or in your family why it is important for Christians to know what is happening in “God's World”, and because of that, the ASSIST News Service is offering them a free subscription. You could provide them with a sign-up sheet where they can write their name and e-mail address, and then make a PDF copy and then e-mail it to me at assistnews@aol.com, and I’ll do the rest. You could also point them to our website – www.assistnews.net – and there they can sign up themselves, or mail the form to me at ASSIST, PO Box 609, Lake Forest, CA 92609, USA.
* If you are a pastor, could you take a few minutes at one of your services to talk about our news service and possibly have a sign-up sheet at the back of the church where people can fill out their name and e-mail address. Then, once you have some people who would like to receive our news service, just make a PDF copy of the sheet and e-mail it to me at assistnews@aol.com.
* If you run a prayer group at your church, you could also share this opportunity with your prayer partners, and then get them to sign up as per above.
* If you in the media, and would like a free subscription, like so many other outlets around the world, just email me your information and I’ll be glad to add you. (You will find many stories on ANS that you can use.)
* If you have a local Christian newspaper, radio or TV station that you think would benefit by receiving our stories into their in-box, just tell them to contact me at assistnews@aol.com, and I’ll do the rest.
It is important that you let people know that we do not use their e-mail addresses for anything but to send them our stories.
Tabloid to Truth front cover

my way of thanking you for your help, I would like you to know that if you are able to get some 20 people, or more, to sign up, just let me know and I’ll be glad to send you a signed copy of my autobiography, “From Tabloid to Truth,” which carries a foreword by Brother Andrew, the author of the best-seller, “God’s Smuggler.” And, don’t forget to include your name and mailing address wherever it may be in the world.
So there you have it. Please prayerfully consider becoming an ANS Ambassador so you can help others realize that “Knowledge is power,” and in so doing, you will be recruiting many more believers to pray for those who need our prayers so desperately.
It is vital that we continue to pray for these, and the many other believers who are praying the ultimate price for their faith in Jesus Christ. They, like you, are true Ambassadors for Christ.
Photo captions: 1) Dan reporting from Tiananmen Square, China. 2) Dan reporting for ANS from outside the Kurdistan Parliament in Northern Iraq. 3) Book cover.
About the writer: Dan Wooding, 74, is an award-winning journalist who was born in Nigeria of British missionary parents, now living in Southern California with his wife Norma, to whom he has been married for nearly 52 years. They have two sons, Andrew and Peter, and six grandchildren who all live in the UK. He is the founder and international director of ASSIST (Aid to Special Saints in Strategic Times) and the ASSIST News Service (ANS) and he hosts the weekly “Front Page Radio” show on the KWVE Radio Network in Southern California and which is also carried throughout the United States and around the world, and also “His Channel Live,” a TV show beamed to 192 countries.
Note: If you would like to help support the ASSIST News Service, please go to www.assistnews.net and click on the DONATE button to make you tax-deductible gift (in the US), which will help us continue to bring you these important stories. You can also make out a check to ASSIST and mail it to PO Box 609, Lake Forest, CA 92609.USA.
** You may republish this and any of our ANS stories with attribution to the ASSIST News Service (www.assistnews.net)
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Christian, Your Job Is a Ministry Job

By Jon Bloom

Provided by

“All work faithfully accomplished for the glory of Jesus in dependence on the Holy Spirit is spiritual work.”

Many Christians struggle with the sense that vocational ministry jobs are more “sacred” or “spiritual” than other jobs. Our terminology probably isn’t helpful: non-ministry jobs are often called “secular” jobs, which would seem to connote that they are less spiritual than ministry jobs. This bifurcated thinking has likely always been present in the church, except when and where the Christian doctrine of vocation has been taught well.

Roots of Sacred and Secular Vocations

Most cultures in human history have had religious doctrines and rites that required some human beings to act as mediators in some way between a deity and other human beings. This required the mediators to be in some sense holy, separated and purified from the rest of the profane world. Pagan religions had this and, of course, Judaism did too, with its Levitical priesthood and temple caste that adhered to strict rituals for holiness.
So the early Christians of both Jewish and pagan backgrounds would have brought into the church their concepts of “sacred” and “secular” vocations. And knowing human nature, it is likely that those who made “their living by the gospel” (1 Corinthians 9:14) were frequently seen (and sometimes saw themselves) as having more spiritual jobs. We know that within a few centuries of its founding, the church was entrenched by this kind of fabricated bifurcation. A sacred Christian priesthood emerged that eventually took on again a type of mediator role between God and men.

Secular Jobs Are Ministry Jobs

The leaders of the Reformation brought a needed correction to this erroneous understanding and ecclesiastical structure. They saw that in the New Testament God draws no sacred/secular vocational distinctions within the church. The New Covenant vocational distinction is between the Son of God and the rest of us (Hebrews 2:17). For now “there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1 Timothy 2:5). We have one high priest, “holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners and exalted above the heavens” who offered himself as the once-for-all sacrifice for sin (Hebrews 7:26–27; 10:12). And being made holy by our great High Priest, Jesus, all Christians are peers, fellow workers in the Great Commission.
Of course Jesus does call some of his saints (a relative few) to serve the church vocationally in a variety of ways. But these folks are not the spiritual elite or some kind of Christianized Levitical caste who does the holy work while everyone else must soil their hands in the profane. Rather, in the New Covenant, God assigns vocational ministry workers to serve and equip the vast majority of the rest of his saints whom he deploys in the world to carry out “the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:12).
In other words, Christians who serve in “secular” vocations are the ones who do most of the ministry and kingdom-expansion work that happens in the world. It’s the job of vocational ministers to equip these folks so they can do their various ministries effectively.

Your Job Is to Make God Look Great

In chapter eight of Don’t Waste Your Life, titled “Making Much of Christ from 8 to 5,” John Piper explains why secular work is designed to be God-like work:

So if you go all the way back, before the origin of sin, there are no negative connotations about secular work. According to Genesis 2:2, God himself rested from his work of creation, implying that work is a good, God-like thing. And the capstone of that divine work was man, a creature in God’s own image designed to carry on the work of ruling and shaping and designing creation. Therefore, at the heart of the meaning of work is creativity. If you are God, your work is to create out of nothing. If you are not God, but like God—that is, if you are human—your work is to take what God has made and shape it and use it to make him look great.

That is your calling today in whatever God has given you to do: make God look great. According to 1 Corinthians 7:17–24, your job (assuming it’s not inherently unethical or immoral) is a ministry assignment from God. It may not be your career assignment, but it’s today’s assignment. And God wants you to carry out that assignment with dependent faith, diligence and excellence.

All work faithfully accomplished for the glory of Jesus in dependence on the Holy Spirit is spiritual work.

If God calls you someday to be a vocational minister, wonderful! It will be your privilege to be a servant-equipper to your brothers and sisters whose ministry it is to make God look great in the world. Just don’t long for vocational ministry because it’s more spiritual than other work. All work faithfully accomplished for the glory of Jesus in dependence on the Holy Spirit is spiritual work.
So wherever Jesus assigns you, “remain with God” (1 Corinthians 7:24) and see it as your ministry. Make it your mission “to take what God has made and shape it and use it to make him look great.”

Jon Bloom is the Executive Director for Desiring God Ministries More from Jon Bloom or visit Jon at http://desiringgod.org

7 Unfair Criticisms or Generalizations of Large or Growing Churches

By Ron Edmondson

“It goes through seasons, but periodically I will hear less than positive remarks from people about their perception of growing or large churches.”

I have only been in ministry about 14 years. In that time, I have been part of two revitalization churches and two church plants. We have been graced with tremendous growth in all four churches. One church was a smaller church, but the other three have grown to be considered larger churches. I grew up in a large church. So, that is most of my church experience.

It goes through seasons, but periodically I will hear less than positive remarks from people about their perception of growing or large churches. Sometimes it comes from within the church—someone who may struggle as the church experiences growth—which always means change. The majority of the time, however, the criticism comes from people outside the church making observations about the church.
And those are the comments I’m addressing here. Comments from people who really do not have experience with larger or growing (especially fast-growing) churches.
These comments are usually well-meaning in terms of the person’s concern for the church. At least, I’m willing to assume. But they are usually also generalized and often given without complete understanding about the specific church.
These type of comments are easily repeated. Some people love to talk. If we are not careful, they become detrimental to the Kingdom. Because some of them—I would even say most—are simply not true. At least in the churches with which I’ve been affiliated directly. (Which are really the only churches we can definitively criticize. And even then, the larger the church the harder it is to understand all that is taking place within it.)

Here are seven unfair criticisms of growing or large churches:

“All you care about is the numbers.”
This is always a funny one for me. Most of the time people who say this are in churches that also count numbers. I’ve been in some very small churches that even post their numbers on the wall in the back of the church. Numbers are important. In all churches. Because they represent people. For me, I don’t want to pastor a growing church where people aren’t equally growing in their individual walk with Christ. Every large church pastor I know personally feels that way. But to know this one, whether you’re in the church or not, you’d really have to know the heart of the people in positions of leadership. I know this, however, it is certainly not a fair generalization of large or growing churches.
“You are just stealing people from other churches.”
I have found in my ministry a couple of things to be true. First, once someone is involved in their church it is a very difficult decision for them to ever leave. Regardless of the size of the church. Unless they are moving to the community or there is some major uproar in the previous church, it is fairly rare that a truly committed church member joins another church. Second, some people change churches frequently. If you look at their life over a span of decades they will have been in numerous churches. I have known some churches where their primary growth comes from conflict, church splits or transferred growth. But these are rare, in my opinion, and have not been the case in churches I have been affiliated with directly.
“You have too much flash and not enough depth.”
Again, this is a funny one to me. The people who are looking for depth—who know enough to be looking for depth—it would seem to me would know that real depth, real maturity, almost always occurs in much smaller settings. The worship service is only one part of discipleship. And whether a church averages 40 or 4,000, there will need to be some smaller settings for people to grow deeper spiritually.
“People aren’t growing.”
I can’t remember how many times I’ve heard a comment such as, “The larger the church the more immature people you seemed find.” That’s a funny comment to me because I was always pretty good with math. It makes sense to me that more produces opportunity for more. More people—more potential for people who aren’t growing. Something tells me there are some immature people in smaller churches too. (Maybe even some of the ones who spread unfounded generalizations about other churches. Uh oh. Did I say that?)
“People aren’t cared for properly.”
That may be true. And it might not be. Same would probably be true of smaller churches. In a large church you may not see the pastor every time you’re sick, but if they have a good care system you’ll be cared for in a biblical community. I have witnessed countless stories of that in some of the churches in which I’ve been a part.
“You won’t get to know anyone.”
That would be like saying if you work at a large company you wouldn’t know anybody you work with. Not true. You won’t be able to just attend the large gathering, never speak to anyone and expect to develop deeper relationships. But something tells me in every large or growing church there will be opportunities to get to know people.
“It’s all about the money.”
As with many of these, you have to think of things in a relative way. It is true that large churches require more money to fund the ministry. Again, that’s just math. But all churches have a budget. It’s almost always proportional to the size of the church. I have loved watching some large churches that actually are very kingdom-minded and bless churches of all sizes. It’s been amazing to me, for example, to watch as our status church blesses smaller churches. This was something that was happening before me—so it’s not about me. But, I love it.
Here is my advice:
Be careful with generalizations. Look under the hood before you critique the engine. And never throw stones at what you don’t know.
In fairness, people cast false impressions toward the church that isn’t growing. And I certainly wouldn’t say that every church in decline or that has plateaued is “making disciples.” Some probably are. Some not as well.
People also make false impressions about small churches. Most of which are probably equally unfair. I have some good friends who are making huge Kingdom impacts in a smaller church. (I’d consider a well-written “7 misunderstandings of small church” guest post.)
Let’s be supporters of churches of all shapes and sizes. Let’s look for fruit, certainly consider the teachings, but take the entire ministry of the church into consideration before we offer generalizations—and certainly before we criticize someone with whom we are supposed to be on the same team.

Ron Edmondson is a pastor and church leader passionate about planting churches, helping established churches thrive, and assisting pastors and those in ministry think through leadership, strategy and life. Ron has over 20 years business experience, mostly as a self-employed business owner, and he's been helping church grow vocationally for over 10 years. More from Ron Edmondson or visit Ron at http://www.ronedmondson.com/

How the Church Can Reach Nominals and Seculars

By Ed Stetzer

“To reach Nominals, part of our strategy must be to remind them what it’s worth to be a follower of Jesus and a part of God’s family.”

Evangelism requires a strategy.
Whether you’re reaching out to Muslims, bikers, students, business people, previously unreached people—it doesn’t matter—there’s a unique way to go about it, ending in the same gospel. The mission is always the same, but the method is usually different.
There’s a certain strategy needed when you engage people who are a part of the church culture, and another when you’re looking to reach people who want nothing to do with church culture.
In each case, you need to speak the gospel in a way that connects and challenges those listening to respond to Christ. I am convinced that every church needs to have a strategy to reach both those who are close to the things of God and those who are far off.
I think most of our evangelism methods, particularly many of the seeker-movement methods from the ’80s and ’90s really appealed to people’s religious memory. A lot of it was saying to people, “This is not your mama’s church—we are updated and rocking. Now, you come back and be a part of it.” So they would say, “OK. I never disliked the church, but I’ll go and be a part of it if it is updated.”

The Issue With Nominals

There are many people in our society who came out of a church, but they didn’t come all the way out. They are disconnected—probably not being genuine Christian believers.
These are nominal Christians, or “nominals” as I’ll call them here.
“Nominals” were raised to appreciate (though not know) the Bible, a certain moral code and general Christian-ish principles. They may have had some experiences with God, but they do not have a vital walk with the Lord. They are not disciples being transformed by the indwelling of His Spirit.
A Nominal knows about Christ, but doesn’t really know Christ, at least in the way evangelicals mean it.
He or she considers himself to be “Christian” because he isn’t Hindu, or because he or she said a meaningful prayer 40 years ago at a youth camp. He or she doesn’t hate God, but just doesn’t love Him with all of his heart, mind, soul and strength.
Nominals see God as the source of good things in life, but not necessarily as the only source of eternal life. They have an appreciation for the things of God, even though they don’t have a thriving relationship with Him. They respond positively to the Bible, and they see value in the church. They even live according to some Christian-ish principles.

To reach Nominals, part of our strategy must be to remind them what it’s worth to be a follower of Jesus and a part of God’s family. Part of that will include connecting them to a church so they can grow from nominalism to deeper faith.

They will need to learn that the body of Christ is of great faith-building benefit from the cradle to the grave, the Word of God is not just a book full of good ideas to live by, Jesus isn’t just a good friend to have in a pinch—He is the Way, the Truth and the Life—the only way to the Father and eternal life.
The difficult part of reaching Nominals lies not usually getting them to see that there is only one way, but in getting them to realize that they are not actually on that way.

The Issue With Seculars

Nominals are the largest group in all English-speaking Western nations. However, the fastest growing group is secular. Actually, although there are many more Nominals, they are actually shrinking and, in many cases, becoming just secular people, without even a nominal attachment to Christianity.
“Seculars,” or the “nones,” are those who have no connection with God and do not claim one. Some of them are honest about this distance. In that sense, they are an easier mission field because they don’t resist the gospel with a false feeling of Christian security. On the other hand, they don’t value the things of God, so we must begin our engagement from a different place.
They are called “nones” because they check “none” under a religion question on a survey. They are just nothing—not generally atheists, just nothing.
I will call them the “Seculars.”
A Secular does not care so much what the Bible says. He or she might agree with some of the Bible’s teachings if those things line up with his view of life, but he or she doesn’t accept anything just because “it’s in the Bible.” If you tell a Secular that something is or is not right because the Bible declares it, you will likely be talking right past him or her.
Seculars may be fine with you being a part of a local church because you find meaning there. But they do not think it’s necessary for them, or anyone else. They think they can find or create their own community to meet any needs that may arise in their life.

Resources for Strategy

Both of these groups need the same Jesus. They need to hear the same gospel. But they require different strategies.
You may end your sermon with an altar call for commitment by saying, “Jesus died on the cross for our sins and in our place. And today, if you are ready to receive Him, your life and eternity will be transformed.”

The Nominal may hear that and respond with a great sense of need and hope. The Secular may not have a clue what you are talking about. They likely won’t even understand the words.

Most of us were trained to minister to a culture that had a Christian baseline, but we weren’t trained how to reach people who don’t accept the Bible as true or know about Christ.

In other words, we were trained to focus on Nominals, but now we increasingly need to reach Seculars.
There are resources to help with that.
I’m a big fan of Tim Keller’s book The Reason for God. Many use that curriculum for reaching secular people. I also recommend the work of George Hunter, a professor at Asbury Theological Seminary. His book How to Reach Secular People is good, as is James Emery White’s book called The Rise of the Nones: Understanding and Reaching the Religiously Unaffiliated.
Do you deal more with Nominals or Seculars? Has your church made progress in reaching either group? What have you found that works in bringing these people to Christ?

Ed Stetzer is President of LifeWay Research and LifeWay’s Missiologist in Residence. He has trained pastors and church planters on five continents, holds two masters degrees and two doctorates, and has written dozens of articles and books. Ed is a contributing editor for Christianity Today, a columnist for Outreach Magazine and Catalyst Monthly, serves on the advisory council of Sermon Central and Christianity Today's Building Church Leaders, and is frequently cited or interviewed in news outlets such as USAToday and CNN. More from Ed Stetzer or visit Ed at http://www.edstetzer.com/